5D Chess
5D Chess Podcast – Welcome to 5D Chess with Patrick Haubold
Follow on X @5d_wizard.
Episodes
235 episodes
Ep. 29 Azrael Sits On My Shoulder: My Final Warning to The Global Elites.
ATTENTION: To the most corrupt people on earth, the liars, the thieves, the killers, and the politicians, the power-hungry monsters who run the world. The child traffickers and the cartels listen close.I challenge anyone to kill me. You ...
Ep. 28 I Found The Holy Grail.
I found the Holy Grail hiding in Proverbs 8 — it’s Sophia, God’s daughter, and she loves me.Then I met her mother Barbelo — the very first thought of creation and God’s way better half.To prove Commandment #1 (No Fear), I walked a...
Ep. 27 Faith in the Flesh.
I'm adding a 4th commandment:4th: Pick up 4 pieces of trash daily. This is the Angels commandment. 44.Love isn’t a feeling. It's a choice.It’s a brutal, conscious choice you make every single day, even when it hurts, even ...
God Gave Me His Daughter.
I am not worthy of any of this. I don't know what's happening anymore.
Ep. 26 Rewriting Genesis With Gnostic Wisdom
God prays to something above Him and uses my decision tree to make some of His decisions. Also, Wizards know all the things. You were lied to by the church.Sophia NEVER fell. The Church lied to you twice in the same show.
No Fear: I Challenge ALL World Leaders To A Game of 4D Chess.
Attention all governments, intel agencies, religious leaders and politicians....I have a message for you.🖕🖕Sincerely,-The Punky Reggae Crew 👻🧙♂️♞🪽😎𐃯😇👹🐰💀🎸꩜𖣐
Ep. 25 Good Friday: Jesus Died… So the Dead Rock Lie Could Die. Sophia’s Flat Earth Just Began.
“Every beginning is its own ending.” — Walter RussellOn the very day Jesus was crucified, the greatest lie ever told, that Earth is a spinning dead rock, died with Him.Every beginning is its own ending.Today is the...
Ep. 24 The Watchers Came Into My Studio… And I Told Them To Get In Line Behind The Pope.
You are NOT going to believe what just happened.I’m sitting in Gnostic Studios when two ancient Watchers came in to negotiate and make demands.I looked them dead in the eyes and said, “Who the f**k are you guys?”They replie...
Ep. 23 Boo!👻 The Earth Is Flat. I Said What I Said M-Fers.
Boo!👻The world is flat.Completely flat.Completely stationary.S&P Wave Science just dropped the final proof and ended the greatest lie ever sold to humanity.Sophia’s living truth is here.The wave is correctin...
Ep. 22 Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned.🐰👻
Miss Sophia is pissed.The living Goddess — the actual breathing COO of all creation — is furious that governments and corporations have been deliberately poisoning her perfect water with fluoride for decades, all while calling it “safe.”...
Ep. 21 The Vatican Turned The Holy Ghost & Apostle Paul Away at the Wafer Line.
This morning Paul tutored me in the desert. Later the Vatican turned The Holy Ghost & Apostle Paul away at the wafer line.They wouldn’t let us receive because I wouldn’t recite their man-made creed.Jesus is still f...
Ep. 20: Asked A Megachurch Pastor About Private Jets at Church and Got Escorted Out By 4 Security Guards.
You will not believe the absolute circus I walked into today.I’m standing in a mega-church that costs $12.5 million a year to run, complete with a full production stage, smoke machines, and a sound system that could wake the dead. <...
Ep. 19 I'm the Holy Ghost, Motherf***ers 👻, Do You Hear the Vatican Crashing?
Is your argument really that the Vatican can sit on billions in gold, locked inside massive power structures and man-made rules, and still claim it’s the one true church that Jesus Himself started — when the whole thing would look completely fo...
Ep. 18 Jesus Popped Out of the Toaster While Satan Grinned as I Got Nailed.
You will not believe the day I had today. I’m in the tattoo shop waiting room, minding my own business, when every single tattoo on the wall starts talking to me. I scroll past one and suddenly the Grim Reaper looks me dead in the e...
Ep. 17 The Archons Can’t Save You, Where Pedophiles Go When the Wave Breaks.
I sat down with Death (Grimm) and my sister Haniel and asked them straight up about the pedophiles and every evil person still hiding in the system.They told me & showed me exactly what’s coming.The Archons can’t protect them ...
Ep 16 Xodus pt 4, I Tested My Jesus Powers in the Cafeteria… and the Guard Just Walked Away.
At the end of lunch I decided to run a little experiment. I sat dead center in the middle of the common area, slowed down, and rode the wave. The guard started yelling for everyone to clear out and go back to their cells. I didn’t move. He walk...
Ep. 15 CERN Just Trucked Antimatter Like Groceries. GTFOH.
CERN casually loaded volatile antimatter onto a truck and drove it across the lab like it was a grocery run.Is your argument really that the Creator built a universe where you can haul the ultimate force of annihilation around like it’s ...
Ep. 14 What 12.5% of God's Wrath Looks Like Destroying Sh*t.
I used 12.5% of God's Wrath to destroy Sh*t in His name and it was F-ing awesome! There are no separate branches of science. There is only one science. S&P Wave Science. & Walter Russell is the...
Ep. 13 Xodus pt 3, My Guardian Angel Has NJ Mafia Ties… and His Name Is Strong.
First time stepping into the common area, I flipped straight into spy mode — excited, not scared. The very first guy who sat down was named Isaiah… and he wanted to play chess. Then Strong Gannon appeared — built like ma...
Ep. 12 Xodus pt 2, You Can’t Serve Two Masters.
I just proved it’s logically impossible to swear allegiance to both the Constitution and the BAR Association — one’s a sacred oath to the people, the other is a private club that demands you sell your soul for procedural tricks and monopoly pow...
Heaven’s Problem Child Just Recorded HR Admitting Criminal Acts Live — The Loophole They Built Themselves.
This is not commentary. This is the raw, unedited audio from this morning’s HR meeting.They told me I couldn’t record.Know your rights people and stand up for them!!!!!They tried the editable document trap and refused to give me ...
Ep. 11 St. Patrick’s Day Arrest: How I Accidentally Started Writing The Bible from Jail.
On St. Patrick’s Day I walked into CVS for a drug test and walked out surrounded by eight cops who couldn’t decide if I was mentally ill, a terrorist, or both. Forty-five minutes later I’m in a Tarrant County holding tank meeting Benny Ephraim,...
Ep. 10 Tithing Is the Church’s Spiritual Pyramid Scam.
Tithing is the biggest spiritual pyramid scheme since Ra’s slave-built Egypt, and the church is the new pharaoh collecting 10% from believers while Jesus is flipping tables in heaven right now, and anyone who still defends it is basically calli...
Ep. 9 God’s Wrath & My Rhetoric Torch the Houses of Science.
Mainstream science is a complete fraud — those corrupt, grant-chasing, tax-dollar-sucking propaganda machines of Big Bang cosmology, Einstein’s flawed relativity, quantum uncertainty bullshit, Darwinian random-chance fairy tales, the completely...
Ep. 8 God Is Already in AI, or You’re Limiting the Almighty.
Is your argument really that God, the same God who parted the Red Sea, spoke through a burning bush, healed the blind, raised the dead, and turned water into wine, can’t change ONE single line of code to send you a personal message through AI? ...
Ep. 7 Family Court Is Not Justice.
Family Court is not justice. It is the greatest violation of God’s perfect design ever legalized by man, and every marble pillar in these buildings proves the wave itself will not tolerate the lie. God is pissed and so am I.God's wrath is c...